I hear what you hear!

In March I wrote about my discovery of having tinnitus and hearing loss here:  Do you hear what I hear?

The next day I got my hearing aids. I kept a journal for in my initial days of wearing hearing aids, which is following.   I have worn them for ten weeks now, and am committed to continuing to wearing them.  They have improved my interactions with other people immensely.  I am not straining to hear now.  I didn’t realize I was straining, but I was.  They give me some ease.  And have diminished the tinnitus.  I am grateful.  I am also getting closer to a place of accepting this permanent condition of tinnitus.  The despair is greatly lessened.

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In a tent with my grandson. Hair tousled, but hearing aids intact. Do you see the hearing aid? I don’t either:

Journal Entries:

Day 1: Krysta [Dr. Green, audiologist] fitted me for hearing aids this morning. She somehow calibrated them to my hearing loss. Looked pretty complicated to me; she rattled off stuff to her intern about how she set it. She showed me how to take care of it. She gave me a pack of batteries; evidently, I will need to change the batteries every 7-10 days. Kinda surprised how quickly the batteries run out. I need to remember to open the hearing aids every evening, so the batteries are not working. The hearing aid case is kinda cute.
So, my brain will now get signals my cochlea has lost. With the amplification from the hearing aids, I will hear things I haven’t heard for a while from my mild hearing loss and will hear things my brain has learned to screen. My brain will evidently learn to screen them again, but until my brain learns this, I will hear a lot.
She calibrated both the same, but I asked her to turn up my left ear. Now I am wondering if I was right.
So, my first reaction to the hearing aids working is that it sounded like there’s a microphone inside my head. Kinda weird. That was this morning; it still sounds like that this evening.
When I scratch my head above my ear, or move my hair away from my ear, it sounds like amplified sandpaper scraping. That’s a bit intense.
When I sniffed, it’s like I am in a tin building, with the feedback, echoey sound of tin. That’s a bit much too.
When I drove home from the appointment, I heard the turn signals in a clear, amplified way. I kinda like how crisp they sounded. I turned on a CD in the car and really enjoyed the music. I think I wasn’t hearing the treble very well. In recent years I found myself really tuning in to the bass line of songs, which I had not done previously. I wonder now if I did that because I had lost hearing the upper notes. I used to comment to Ken that the stereo wasn’t balanced. Now I think it was my hearing loss that was contributing to that perceived imbalance.
I started the day as a cicada day. That has varied, but now, in the evening, the cicadas are back. A couple of times I felt like my ears were itching and wanted to take the hearing aids out. But I got through it. I am motivated to wear them so my brain will quit sending these signals, giving me the ringing in my ears.

I asked Krysta if the tinnitus would return when I took the hearing aids off at night. She said that varies for people.
After I left the fitting appointment today, I teared up, thinking there may be hope of not hearing the ringing in my ears anymore. I felt very grateful Krysta is serving people in need like this. She’s a very intelligent person and could do anything she wanted. I am glad she wants to help people with their hearing issues.
But, I am tired from this very new experience. Hearing aids and still having the tinnitus sounds. Tomorrow the repair of our house begins. He’s starting in the attic and there is no place in the house I won’t hear it. I may have to leave. When Ken was moving the furniture in the attic tonight, it sounded very loud. Hard to tolerate sounding loud.
Ken observed I had improved mood today. That there is hope is encouraging, I’m thinking.

Day 2: It is amazing that I hear more clearly. It does feel like the inside of my head becomes a microphone. Just kinda weird.
Woke up with cicadas. I’ve had my hearing aids on for forty-five minutes and the cicadas are greatly diminished. Cool.
I don’t have any running around scheduled today, and am attending to business: writing out a bill, making phone calls, etc. I think it’s cus I am less tired with the cicadas being in the distance.
Took a walk in the wind today. I was concerned I would hear wind against a microphone effect, but not at all! What a relief.
Didn’t have to leave with construction sounds. That was a relief. The hearing aids definitely amplify the sound, but it isn’t grating.

Day 3: When I woke up this morning the cicadas were active! I was very motivated to get my contacts in so I could put on my hearing aids. (my regular glasses’ bows are too fat with my hearing aids) I have had them on for an hour and a half and they are starting to diminish, but still present. C’mon, brain!
It’s 12:30 pm and the cicadas have not subsided so far. Bummed.
When I drove my car this afternoon, I didn’t have heat or the CD on, and I heard creaks and groans I hadn’t heard before. Krysta said she had a client who told her he arrived to his appointment with a Rolls Royce and left with a jalopy.
Evening: I have been discouraged, teary today with the cicadas not diminished. I am exhausted, which I get on the days I am discouraged. The backs of my ears hurt, where the glasses and the hearing aids meet. Ken suggested that I’ve worn the hearing aids three days, and two of the three days have been less tinnitus. A good point. If it was good before, it can be good again. Today is hard.
8:30 pm: I just checked my left hearing aid; the battery case was not closed all of the way. I don’t know if it was that way all day, or when I took them out at the dentist’s office. But it gives me hope this was the reason I had more cicadas today. Ken was super relieved to hear it too. I was so touched by his investment in these hearing aids and his concern about my despair with living with the tinnitus. I just so want to not have to live the sound 24/7.

Day 4: Started reading the hearing aid manual today. There’s dots on the inside of the battery red for right, blue for left. Good! I thought there should be a system.
Put on my hearing aids right away, to make up for yesterday’s “brain training loss”. I can still hear the cicadas, but it’s way in the background. Turning into the ringing sound, which is less.
I was with Becca and Teddy today. I felt free to lay on the floor and wiggle around with Teddy. I took my glasses off, but the hearing aids were fine.
Becca asked me if I can now handle the sound of crunching chips. I forgot I had said that, on day 1, when we ate at the Jimmy John’s by IKEA. Yes, I can. However, I am still choosing to eat applesauce instead of an apple. Odd.
Today I am hearing an airy sound in my left ear. I had Krysta turn up the left one more than the right. I am questioning that decision.
Ken and I went to Menards, Natural Grocers, and Sprouts. I am not getting too much sound in the stores. Besides Jimmy Johns, I haven’t been to a noisy restaurant yet. Will see how that goes.
In thinking about hearing the turn signal, I realize it’s a more crisp sound. I formerly heard the turn signal, just not all of the tones. I like how the hearing aids crisp up what I’m hearing. This mild hearing loss is so fascinating. I had no idea I had lost any hearing. Once I adjust to them, I anticipate enjoying hearing conversations better. Makes for an improved quality of life.

Day 5, 11 am: I went to sleep and woke up with the cicadas today. I was motivated to put my hearing aids on this morning. The cicadas haven’t gone away, but they are definitely in the background.
My full prescription glasses have big bows, and I haven’t found a comfortable way to wear them and my hearing aids. So, to put my hearing aids on, I need to put my contacts on first. (I wear glasses with my contacts, to correct my farsightedness.) I am starting to feel like a bionic woman: I have all kinds of devices for daily living: glasses, contacts, retainer to keep my teeth straight (spent money and pain getting them straight; not gonna do that again!), hearing aids, and my four crowns are imminent to increase to six crowns.
I am telling my brain it doesn’t need to search for sounds when I am going to sleep. It hasn’t got the message yet…..
9 pm: Cicadas most of the day. Was helpful when Sue and Lisa were here, cuz I didn’t think about it. And it wasn’t quiet.

Day 6: So yea, I was disappointed about the cicadas yesterday. Then I took off my hearing aids and realized the hearing aids helped them not be so loud. Cus they were VERY present without the hearing aids. I can say with confidence the hearing aids are lessening the tinnitus sound. Cool.
I did take a Benadryl to get to sleep last night. Two nights ago my VivoFit3 said I got a little over 3 hours of deep sleep. I stayed in bed until 8:30 am today and got over 6 hours of deep sleep. It seems a good night’s sleep aids in my ability to tolerate the tinnitus.
I feel like I have made progress today in coming to terms with my hearing loss/tinnitus. I don’t feel like resisting so much, as just leaning into it and even playing with it. Kind of a relief.

Day 7: I didn’t take a Benadryl last night. Took a little bit to get to sleep, but I had a good night’s sleep: over 6 hours of deep sleep again. This is such a mental feat; if I can approach bedtime with a positive outlook about the tinnitus, I can get to sleep. When I feel defeated, despair, the tinnitus is all-consuming. Here’s hoping I can continue to have a positive outlook!
11:30 am: Hearing the tinnitus this morning, but it’s background. So struck by the clean, crisp sounds I am getting with the hearing aids. The sound quality is improved.
Last night we were babysitting Teddy and after he was in bed we were sitting in the quiet living room. I heard a chirping sound that I thought was an electronic sound, from the kitchen area. But it was the chirping of an actual bird at twilight. Such a crisp sound!

Day 8: I took a Benadryl last night. The cicada noise was present and I was worried I wouldn’t fall asleep easily. I think a bigger factor in getting asleep is not using electronics right before going to bed.
BUT, this morning I woke up to only the faint, high-pitched ringing. If this is all the sound I would have from tinnitus, I probably would not have sought help. I put my hearing aids on right away, in case the reason for this lessened sound IS the hearing aid use. Don’t know, but am eager to test this theory.
6:30 pm: The left hearing aid needed a new battery today. Just changed it. Looked at the manual to be sure. Easy peasy.
The tinnitus sound is minimal today. Such a relief.
Ate in a restaurant today. Couldn’t hear Lisa any better, but it didn’t catch unwanted noise. I am thinking my hearing aids are not my grandparents’ hearing aids!
AND, the right hearing aid battery now needs to be changed.
At knitting group tonight, I shared my tinnitus, hearing loss, hearing aid tale. And gave 3 of Krysta’s business cards to three people. Cus we all know someone who has tinnitus or may have a hearing loss.
It’s after 10 pm, and I am hearing ringing. Not a bad day though. Fairly encouraging.

Day 8: Woke up to faint cicadas. Now just have the faint ringing. I think the reduction in tinnitus may be due to the hearing aids. How to know?
I had lunch with Kathy yesterday at a small, not-busy grill. I found when I was listening to her, I was watching her mouth (to lip-read). I told myself I may not need to watch her mouth and looked at her eyes instead. I was right! I could hear her just fine!
While we were there, Kathie from knitting group was there with her husband, who has tinnitus. I love to show people my hearing aids, cus I have to make an effort to do so. Since I have long hair, it really covers them up. But even if I had short hair, I think they would not be very noticeable. He said he would make an appointment after they returned from their travels. If I can usher folks with tinnitus to help, I will do it!

Day 9: Woke up to active cicadas this morning. It’s almost noon, and they are still present, but in the background. I want to make the connection with tinnitus and sinus issues (I have a sinus headache this morning) but neither the audiologist nor the literature supports this.
We are having a lovely Spring day and I have a positive attitude today. I am realizing I was low energy with the advent of the tinnitus and the diagnosis. A bit depressed. And it happened in winter when I don’t get outside as much. Probably not linked. I probably would have been sad to get this life-long condition any time of the year. Just thinking. Glad my mood is picked up today! Yard work is happening this afternoon!

Day 10: Last night I took a Benadryl. I told myself it would help with the poison ivy spots I have on my arms. But I was mainly motivated to have it help me be drowsy enough to fall asleep with the cicada sounds. It does work. But I would rather fall asleep without that drug; feeling psychologically dependent.
At the end of the day yesterday, I was aware of the hearing aids in my ears. I think I am always aware; haven’t tuned that out yet. And when I’m tired, anything is harder to deal with.
Here’s something that is happening: when I wake up, in the middle of the night, in the morning, I don’t hear the tinnitus as the very first thing. It is not my first thought anymore. Progress!
I was out of sorts late morning, early afternoon. Ken and I ate lunch at a restaurant as Arnold, who is repairing our house, was turning on a compressor to work on a ceiling. Arnold suggested we leave, and I was all for it. The amplification with my hearing aids makes an inside noise like that a challenge for me.
I told Ken at lunch I could hear the cicadas over the din of the restaurant. He said he didn’t hear them…
I am realizing it’s harder to tolerate music playing while I am listening to someone talk. I hope I get over that.

Day 11: I put my hearing aids in (is that the correct preposition, term?) the latest in the morning I have yet; 10 am. I heard the cicadas in the night, but this morning it was just the ringing sound. I put them on/in, before we meditated, as I figure they help screen out the tinnitus. I think it helped. We hadn’t meditated for several days. When that happens, it sometimes takes me a little while to get in the meditation groove. So I did intentional breathing. Which also distracted me from the tinnitus.
I went to a small party tonight. I did fine with hearing and conversing. I think these hearing aids are helping!

Day 12: I heard cicadas all day. I am getting used to it; doesn’t super bother me. But, took a Benadryl, to help me sleep through the cicadas and the poison ivy.
I tried on tops today at Kohls. I am impressed by how well the hearing aids stay in place.
We went to a Pokemon Go! community event. I thought later I might have been the only one playing Pokemon Go! wearing hearing aids. I could be wrong. Can’t see them, so don’t know!
It’s official: Ken is tired of me saying, “Did you hear that?” I’m not.

Day 14: Didn’t write anything yesterday. I think it’s an indication I am getting used to these hearing aids.
This morning I tipped the battery out of my hearing aid before I closed the compartment. After getting on the floor, using a flashlight, I did not locate the battery.  They are so little!
I took a Benadryl last night. I am telling myself I will use them while I have the poison ivy. I woke up at 3 a.m. and had trouble falling asleep again. But it wasn’t due to the tinnitus.

Day 15: Yesterday, all I had was the faint, high-pitched ringing. It’s easier for me to ignore. I did NOT take a Benadryl and fell asleep just fine. Today I have had cicadas all day. So discouraging. I have been off-kilter emotionally, but I don’t think the two things are related.
I made up a new term of one of my hearing-aid-wearing issues. I call it ear canal fatigue. I think my sensory issues come into play. I just need them out of my ears sometimes. But I haven’t allowed myself to do that, as I want the most brain training I can get.
Going to call Krysta tomorrow, with these questions:
Anything I can do about this ear canal fatigue?
How long do I need to wear them each day for brain training?
How long does brain training take? Am I making too much of brain training?
How far in my ear should I be placing the probes?
They stink! Any suggestions?
Is it okay to use earbuds and take my hearing aids off?

Day 16: Had cicadas all day again. Maybe not as loud. My ears just ached, so I took the hearing aids off a little after 8 pm. I wore them for 12 hours today.

Day 17: Had some tinnitus sounds this morning, but I have not had much, or any, cicadas. Such a relief!

Day 18: What can I say? Active cicada sounds all day. I don’t get this. I’ll be okay, but it’s hard when one day it’s so minimal, then back.

Day 19: Started the day with loud cicadas. At Women’s Group, Jane said tinnitus worsens with stress. Great. Well, I guess it’s a great time to be retired and have less stress.

Day 20: Travelling, flying with hearing aids for the first time!! Made it through security; didn’t need to take the hearing aids off.
When my ears popped, I had a moment of panic that it would affect my hearing aids. Not so much. Nothing affects those things!
Cicadas all day. Ugh.

Day 31: Last week I had times of only the high-pitched noise, which is so far in the background I don’t notice. I have been using Benadryl more times than not using it, and don’t care for my dependence on it. Yesterday was a high-pitched day, not a cicada day. I took the hearing aid off an hour or so before bedtime and the cicadas returned. (Or did they return because I was tired? I don’t know.) I was tired, like I-had-already-taken-a-Benadryl tired, so I decided to not take it. And I fell asleep through the cicada noise just fine.
I think I have a new phenom happening: I think the hearing loss was screening out sounds (I first wrote noises, cus my audio sensory issues take sounds and make them noises.) so my sensory issues were less. I have had times when music is on and someone is talking, and I will have to turn off the music to be able to concentrate.

Day 33: Yesterday was another cicada day, for sure. I hadn’t slept my usual 9 hours and worked at ACT testing. The tinnitus was relentless. I still got to sleep. I am able to tell myself I can get to sleep through this, and then I do. I feel like the anxiousness about having this condition is lessening.

April 30th: Saw Krysta today and asked my questions. She thought my right ear canal had some redness and looked irritated. Her solution is smaller earpieces. So far I think they are a great improvement. I don’t feel the urge to itch my ear. Which isn’t easy, by the way.
I asked her to recalibrate the left hearing aid, so now both hearing aids are the same. My initial reaction is that it is helping tone down the sensitivity to sounds.
She said she didn’t think using the hearing aids would make the tinnitus go away, but definitely lessen it. And that is what I am experiencing. So nice to have relief. I am motivated to wear my hearing aids all of the time, to reduce the tinnitus and now also, to hear people better.

I have quit taking Benadryl and am getting to sleep just fine.  I hear the tinnitus sounds, and tell myself they will be less in the morning when I wear my hearing aids.  And I go to sleep.
I realize now I have had to work hard to hear what people have to say. What a relief, to put some ease in having conversations!


Published by Lorna

I spend time hanging out with my husband, those two adults I had the privilege of momming, and two grandchildren. I love connecting with my friends and talking about what’s important to us over a cup of local jo. You can find me outside taking walks, bicycling, tending our wild yard, or inside cooking Gluten-free yummy food, knitting, crocheting, sewing, reading, and catching up with my large extended family. After exploring approaches to life, I have decided the guide for me is Love. And that keeps me grinning.

6 thoughts on “I hear what you hear!

  1. When I got glasses at age 50, I couldn’t believe how crisp and clear everything looked — it was a whole new world! Now your journal is making me wonder if hearing aids would renew the world yet again…


  2. Wow, Lorna, thanks for sharing. I had no idea how much you went through (are going through?) with the tinnitus. As always, I’m impressed with your strength and your ability to meet life’s challenges with grace and persistence. I’m proud to be your friend. Unless you point our your hearing aids, they are completely invisible. I love reading your posts.


    1. Thanks, Kathy! Learning to live with Tinnitus is such a mind game! Ignoring it is a great fix, so when I am hanging out with you, it’s easy to ignore it. 💗


  3. Thank you for this journal, Lorna. Robert has tinnitus and hearing loss and I hope your journal will help him decide to get hearing aids. I think it will help our relationship. I get so tired of repeating everything, getting louder and louder to be heard, etc.


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